did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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