Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
