just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
