I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
