I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Nicole vs. Life
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
