I got chris browned last night
false alarm. still invincible.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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