And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Randomize
