I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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