dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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