check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
