is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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