You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
