tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
