I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
