It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
