when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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