why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
