Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no more duck duck goose at the bar
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
