please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
