I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
