Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
