glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i will never coherently bang her
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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