girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
