Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
