She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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