I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
