just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
