After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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