He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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