i jhust puked up my retainher.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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