The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
