There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
