I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
