The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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