Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
