i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
