You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
