There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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