drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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