honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
