What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
