How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Ketchup is God's man juice
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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