She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
