dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
