At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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