thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
