she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
