yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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