problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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