paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
